Light 'em up!

Let me tell you about Courtney.   She is awesome.  She is my moms neighbor and I have to fight being envious every time I think that she is mom's neighbor and not MINE!  I've prayed for a neighbor like her...in Miami...but alas, the Lord answered it in Orlando!  GO FIGURE!  =)

She and her family moved to Orlando from Atlanta and I have LOVED getting to know her, laughing with her, and running with her when I am at moms.  She has an amazing business and blog.

She is insanely creative and a brillant writer.  She's honest and transparent, and hello, I love that.  Her kids disobey, make a mess and laugh their butts off.  She's a Proverbs 31 mom and wife.

When we first met, I devoured her blog..reading all that she had written--the girl is hilarious!

This blog post I loved!! Going out of your way for strangers, teachers, friends or someone who needs a little "happy" around the holidays.

Of course I didn't know her at Christmas.  DERN!  But have thought about this idea ever since.

How can we make people smile in July?

July is the beginning of Christmas music, shopping, and merriness in MY house so this was the month to start for me!  But where?  How?

Then it happened...God spoke...and I kind of froze.  I had been asking Him to show me ways I could love on people...and there He was, telling me how, and I just stood there pretending He was talking to Gracie.  Gracie, obey your mother!   Ok, that wasn't what I heard.  At all.

Now Lord?  Right here?  On THIS guy?! 

Yes, Lis.  Yes. YES!  RIGHT NOW!

OK! Ok!

I am in line at Publix getting a few groceries.  Gracie is in the 'car cart' and asking for a red balloon.  The red balloon that was over his head by only an inch or so.  He is a tall, slender man.  If you go to the Baldwin Park Publix, I am sure you know who I am talking about.  He is a sweet and precious guy who has worked there for years.  When I lived here, I would look for him to go to his line.  I would try to start up conversations.  He is either very introverted, or just doesn't like people.  I'm going with the introvert.

There was no bagger in his lane, so after he scanned the groceries, he bagged them himself.  It took a little while longer because of him doing a two person job, but he didn't seem to mind.  He probably preferred it.  Since I'm not an introvert I don't get it, but those introverts tell me they'd rather be alone!  =)  Isn't that the weirdest thing you have ever heard?!  Who wants to be alone????

"$35.16," he says.

I freeze. The Lord chimes in.  No, thats not the right one, Lis.  Ask him.

I get brave.  Pointing to the candy section behind me, I make eye contact, "I was wondering which of these treats are your favorite?"

He looks at me puzzled.

I continue.  "I appreciate the work you have done for me, and since Publix has a no tipping policy, I would like to buy you a little treat."

He looks shocked.  "Really?"

Yes!

He stumbles, I smile.  Now at least he knows how I FEEL!

"I love Reeces, they are my favorites."

"Great!  I love those too!"  I hand them to him to ring up.

$36.18 the cash register now reads.  Now can I swipe my card, Lord?

Yes, now.

A smile.  "Thank you so much...that was so"....he pauses... because he can't find the words..."kind."  He becomes chatty and finally hears Gracie say, "May I have a RED balloon, please".  He never seemed so excited to give a balloon away.

Gracie waves as we start to drive that car cart away..."goodbye!! See you next time!"

I smiled the whole way home.  I found my way to light 'em up.  No matter the time of year!

I dare you to try it!  I kind of can't wait to go back to Publix!

Thanks Court!

Life Partner

Do you have a life partner?  Someone besides your spouse?

A sister? Friend? Mentor?

The older I get the more I am convinced that the greatest thing the Lord has given us on this side of heaven besides our salvation and the word of God is people.  Relationships.  It is the only thing that will remain beyond this life.

I don't want to sound like a hallmark card, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

In the middle of the night, when this treasure was born, she was there.  In the OR I knew she was on the other sides of the door waiting to snuggle Gracie and praying.  She is an amazing prayer warrior. 

She is the worlds greatest mom.   Never a time goes by that I am not with her that I learn something, or want to be more like her.  I love that when she goes out of town, and she gives me the honor of watching her girls, they often say, "you do things just like my mom does, you must be sisters."  I love that her girls let me love them, and feel safe with me.   I love that when the girls are with me, and a stranger refers to me as their mom, or them as my kids, her kids just smile...then we get in the car and they say, "they thought you were our MOM!"

I love raising babies with her.  I love that she loves Gracie like her very own.  Gracie is crazy about her Sassy.  I am pretty sure Gracie thinks that Sassy's one and only role in this life was to give her cousins that she refers to as, "my girls."

There was a time in my life when she wanted to kill me, smack me, shake me, thought I was annoying, obnoxious, and immature.  Ha! She may still think that BUT she didn't give up on me.  She believed God had bigger and better things.  Of course she was right.  Aren't older sisters always right?

She gives me perspective.  Isn't afraid to tell me when my thinking is off, lets me vent, lets me cry and even on the hardest of days says, "even on the hardest of days, WE choose JOY!"  

She is selfless, funny and extremely generous.   

There was this lie I believed when I moved...it really was my biggest fear of moving away from Orlando...that I would be forgotten by her or replaced.  She has made it a point to be my biggest support, cheerleader and the person I do life with.  We are closer than we have ever been or I ever thought possible. 

We share some very good secrets, inside jokes, and stories.  But I am pretty sure we share a part of our brain and heart.  

That's the joy of having a sister.

I understand the rare and God given relationship we share- and I don't take it for granted. 

Sassy Joy, you are exactly that! Sassy and full of Joy!  I love your love for life, your family, friends, orphans and your selfless quest to do all that you can to make this world more like Jesus.   You are an inspiration to me and many others that call you a friend.  Sucks for them they can't call you a sister!  Thank you for loving me, crying with me, dreaming with me, and making me laugh until my face hurts!   I love doing life with you but even more than that, love that our mansions are going to be right next to each other on those golden streets.  Can't wait to see you tomorrow!

Happy D Day, dear Baby Hope!

If you prayed for me today, thank you.  I felt them.  My sister and her girls were here all day and we really had a great day.  I only cried for a few minutes, a few times!  Your prayers worked...carried me, and I am so thankful.

Tim had a big exam today, and then we went to cheesecake factory.

Then it was back home to decorate and write notes to Hope to send to Heaven.

We got Gracie's off---well, kind of.  We went to the roof (7th floor)--mistake number one.  Trying to launch them with some wind.  Mistake number two.  Tim dropping if off the 7th floor and it falling to the ground---mistake number 3!  BUT thank the Lord, it then took off.. the bad part, we missed half of it as we were running for cover afraid we were going to set the whole building on fire.

We have concluded that our other launchings will happen on family vacation at the beach in a couple weeks---we will all be together and over WATER which sounds very safe!

Here are some of the pictures I did get before running for cover.  

It was a precious day--and as Lauren said when she was leaving tonight, "just imagine, Nana and Hope smiling in Heaven."  That makes me smile, and cry happy tears! 

Today ends one chapter, tomorrow starts a new one.  I am thankful we get to play with Sarah and the girls tomorrow too!

Thank you for all your prayers.  They mean more than you know!

T minus 4 days

What if plans are better as prayers and what if everything is supposed to happen this way because His Sovereign Hand can make any happening into good?


I read this on Ann Voskamp's blog yesterday, and I have pondered it off and on ever since. 

Yeah, Ann, What if?

What if He is going to make anything that breaks my heart into something that brings my heart deep joy?

What if, this journey I am on, is a lot less about a baby named Hope, and a lot more about learning to still hope?  Dream.  Trust.  

What if I really believed that nothing about my dream or life changed?  Losing Hope wasn't the death of a dream, it was the birth of an even bigger dream. 

What if this season of life I am in is preparing me for things I can't even dream of?  What if, He is going to bring me a house full of running feet, happy hearts and giggles that didn't come from my womb?  What if He is going to create life in my womb and is going to give me twins, or triplets?  (ah, Lord, if that is in the cards, please move me to Orlando next to my sisters!!)  

I tend to play the what if game frequently.  And by frequently I mean only the days that I breathe.  

I was having a conversation recently with a friend who was telling me that after seeing so many negative pregnancy tests, it is going to be hard to finally see a positive one.  At least with a negative one, you've walked that road before.  But the newness of a positive test after a loss can be debilitating.  Scary.  

I couldn't agree more.  I find myself asking God for that and in the very same breath FEAR that word.  

Why is that? 

What if there was no fear in seeing the positive word and only celebration?  Only tears of joy.  Jumping up and down like a crazy woman?! 

The only answer that I can come up with is Satan.  He wants us to be overcome by our fears.  He wants us to worry ourselves sick.  He wants us to do anything in his power to prevent us from worshipping the Giver of Life.

I have asked myself...(yes, I do talk to myself. A lot. A lot more than is probably healthy.)

What if I finally get pregnant and miscarry again.  Then what? 

Then the answer has to be that God in His sovereign plan has something else in mind. 

Don't misunderstand me.  This road wouldn't have been in my plan for me.  Or for anyone else for that matter.

But I also understand that suffering has the ability to bring growth and new life like nothing else does.  

My emotions have been all over the place this week.  Choosing Joy and practicing the 4:8 principle has been my number one goal.  But I'd be lying if I told you I didn't just weep.  

I did.  More than once.  But one of those times was when I heard that the same God who hasn't answered my prayer, answered a friends. 

Wednesday is fast approaching.   The tears fall more frequently, and I am letting them.   

Some plans don't change.  Like if I was getting ready to have a baby, my sister would be here.  Well, she is coming.  And we're going to celebrate.  Not sure how yet, but I am sure it will involve balloons.   I know it will involve tears.  And I can imagine it involves my Nana holding Hope and sitting at the feet of Jesus.  

I wouldn't want to come to my celebration if I was Hope either.  Not when she is at THE celebration.

Thanks for your prayers and support friends.  It really does mean more than you know!