Monday night, 6:30-9pm at East End Market, we're having a "see you soon" party! Join us for some dessert and so we can hug you! Info here.
Driving home from celebrating my best friends 30th birthday, the tears were slowly falling...again. It hit me like a ton of bricks that a lot of celebrations are going to happen here and 800 miles will separate me from them.
"This is the way of the Lord, walk in it," he whispered.
Approximately 413 times already I’ve tried to put my thoughts into writing. It’s been hard to think beyond the sadness that my heart feels in leaving everything I’ve loved so much in Orlando for the last year. I've grieved the last few months in this season of life because of the family dynamic I have, friends I’ve been blessed with, the jobs I love, and the desires I had for my preschooler to be on the Circle campus this year. To say that this is going to be hard, falls hundreds of tears short.
With all that being said, I will add that following Jesus has never been easy, it hurts and costs you everything. I don't want to go but I don’t want to stay. Because in staying in Orlando, I would be choosing to be in disobedience to the Lord and His plan for my family for at least the next 3 years. I’d like to think I could ignore this truth, but since Kentucky is not surrounded by water, and being swallowed by a whale most likely wouldn’t happen, I’d prefer not to find out what He would use to get my attention. Ha! I’m terrified of tornadoes. Does Kentucky have those? Yikes.
Packing has been beyond exhausting. I’ve tried to go through every box to see what I’ve been keeping (Hi. I’m Lis and a hoarder apparently) and what I need to…wait for it, get rid of. It has also been exciting-I had to resist the urge to get super excited when all my Christmas stuff came out of the attic! It’s not to soon to decorate, right?! Christmas in June? I like the sound of that!
It’s also been scary. Apparently the bank thinks we’re grown ups because they’re letting us buy a house and that my friends, makes me want to poop a little. But! since it’s mine, I can paint a purple wall if I want to, or put a 20 foot blow up snow man in the front yard. (I won’t…do both. All bets are off on anything to do with Christmas.)
I’m not going to pretend that I know the reason(s) we are going to Kentucky. It’s beyond Tim’s training for his career, I do know that. I do know that it will be home for the next 3 years. I don’t know what is waiting for us there. I don’t know what we would miss if we didn’t go. I’m certain we will know that at the end of 3 years. Maybe for a relationship, maybe for another baby, maybe we will find the ministry we will devote time and money to, maybe we will foster a child that becomes ours, maybe for my girls to enjoy a white Christmas, maybe because the book that He’s told me to write for the last 4 years needs to be written! It will be exciting to look back and be able to say, “thats why. Maybe that. Perhaps that. Without a doubt that”
We will be ok. The girls will be ok. I will be ok. Orlando will always be our sweet spot, but there is nothing like home, and home is where Tim, Gracie and Ansley are. Home will be on Ellis Way (with the 20 foot snowman!) I won’t cry forever. Some days will be harder than others, sometimes I will have to get off Facebook because seeing the pictures of everyone together will be too much, sometimes I’ll just have to go to Trader Joe’s and have a pity party, but I will be ok.
I’m choosing to not say “good-bye”. “See you soon, or catch you on FaceTime is much easier”. If I could kiss the inventor of that dang program, I would. Maybe that’s why they made the emoji icons.
We’re venturing into new territory and we’d love your prayers. There are going to be a lot of adjustments, new normals and exciting times ahead. At the end of the day, the only place I want to be is in the middle of His will. So as much as I hate this, T-minus three sleeps until we head North.
If only following Jesus wasn’t so hard.