Be Still.

There is something about being needed.

Even if it's at 2:47am. I'm not surprised. She went to sleep with a less than a happy belly. Or that's the conclusion I made without the confirmation of “yes my belly hurts”. "Owie!", was all I needed to hear. She's back to sleep by 3:03am but I'm not. He had other plans.

I can probably count on two hands the times where I have been able to see what kind of growth being on this journey has brought me. This early morning brought that. In the middle of the dark, quiet night. When I was still. Quiet. Listening.

Thank you that she needs me.

Thank you that my name is the first one on her lips.

My touch. Calming. Comforting. Taking away some of the pain. For now.

These thoughts have only come with practice.

Choosing joy isn't easy and certainly isn’t my default emotion, especially at 2:47am when I'm awakened by a tearful and almost desperate cry of my name. “Mommy? Mommy?"

What a picture of me. My life. My cries.

Daddy? Heavenly Father? Abba?

Oh how I long for THAT to be my default emotion. For the first words on my lips be calling on Him in need.

All day, everyday I encounter "Just one more reason to trust God”. The unknowns are always the ways He chooses to see if my trust still lies in Him. It too, is just a choice.

I am a planner. And right now, I am a girl without a plan. He smiles. Its just where He wants me.

God is always good, and I am always loved.

His invitation remains the same for me as it always has. Do you trust me?

I'm awake. She's asleep. I sit awake smiling because He always gets His point across- no matter what time of day. It is just sweeter and easier for me to understand when I am still. “Be still and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10

Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. Always precedes the miracle.

He used her voice to awaken me so I could hear His. I should wake her to thank her. But I won't. Tomorrow, that will be the first words out of my mouth.

Its 4:16am. Maybe He will let me go back to sleep now.