Blessings.

When finals are coming up, when the baby is teething, and when we are waiting for the next check from the student loan office to come in to pay the bills, joy can go right out the window. After all, what is there to be happy about in that list of worries?

Choosing joy is a battle that I have fought for as long as I can remember, and being the wife of a medical student has only made matters worse.

When the storms of life threaten like the raging waves of the ocean with a hurricane looming on the horizon, it’s a battle just to keep your head above all that water, let alone to keep your attitude of gratitude in check and your ear tuned to the gentle whisper of the Creator who made it all! And not just made it, but allowed every detail in it to happen: “Surely, just as I have intended so it has happened, and just as I have planned so it will stand” (Isaiah 14:24, NASB).

As God plans…so it stands.

A missionary from Brazil challenged me to wake up every morning and say out loud, “Jesus, you are welcome here.” And not just welcomed, Lord, but wanted. Desired. Needed.

I don’t know where you are on this journey of being a graduate wife, but I am only beginning. My husband is starting his second year of medical school in a very dark and lonely city. Miami is my home now, but most days it feels more like a foreign country.

I have to remind myself that this life, this story, is one He penned long before I ever had any knowledge of such crazy plans.  Long before I ever let fear win for far too long or allowed my joy to be stolen.

The deceiver.

You know him: the one that desperately longs for you to live in the bondage of fear, depression and pain. Don’t get me wrong; I know life can be hard, stressful and depressing, but I believe it’s what you make of those days that really counts. It matters that you get up, brush yourself off, and play rap music way too loud to have a dance party in the living room with your 16 month old. Then the smiles come. The deep belly laughs as she shakes her entire body in an effort to shake her booty. And then the overwhelming, flowing gratitude. Thank You that I can dance and laugh and see. Thank You that my daughter is healthy enough to do all those things, too. Thank You for the glimpse into the eternal blessing of the choices I make everyday.

A wise man once said that whatever gets your attention, gets you. Stress and fear might get my attention, but I certainly don’t want them to get me!

How do you battle stress and fear? Me, I fight back with gratitude.

God is always good and I am always loved.

Counting my blessings:

Clean clothes.

Food in the fridge as I watch the homeless man dig in the dumpster.

Showing my girl how to jump in puddles.

I love what Ann Voskamp writes in her book, One Thousand Gifts. She says, “It is impossible to feel two emotions at one time. The only way to fight a feeling is with a feeling. Feel thanks and it is absolutely impossible to feel angry. We can only experience one emotion at a time.”

Therefore, I decide what I will feel. Do I choose joy or depression? Happiness or sadness? Fulfillment or loneliness? My choice.

Choosing joy has often been an extremely difficult task, but it is the quest that I have set out on. My heart and my soul desperately long to live in the freedom of that place.

Joy. No matter what.

No matter if there is enough money in the bank account, if finals are just around the corner, or if the baby is having a rough day.

Joy. All the time.

Joy. Overflowing, becoming the very essence of who I am as a woman, a wife, and a mom.

So I ask you, regardless of your circumstances, do you know how to have joy when the only reason to be happy is Jesus? Your choice.

Choose Joy. You won’t regret it. Your husband and babies certainly won’t regret it, I promise!