Plan B...or is it Plan A?

I'm a planner.  Most everyone knows that.

I sent my sister an email telling her to "save the date" for Tim's graduation.  The email I got back said, "I am not putting a date in my calendar that is 2 years away! You are crazy, remind me next year!"  All of you laugh but this is coming from the woman who when I told her a year before about Tim's White Coat ceremony, she said, "Oh, we are already planning to be in Ohio!"

I like plans, I like 'save the dates', I like knowing what is going on and then putting my to-do list to work.

I don't like anything but plan A-my plan.  Insert eye roll because you now realize I am a bit obsessive.

Plan A became my plan B - but never was God's plan B.  Indeed, it was always His plan A.

My plan had me at 39 weeks pregnant, with an almost 2.5 year old, and a husband who was getting ready to take part one of his National Board Exam for medical school.   It makes me smile to think of the ways He loves me even in the things that hurt my heart.

I am a planner.

Can you imagine how I would be if I WAS on my plan A?!  I am sure I wouldn't be much fun to be around.

On His plan A...
I can lay on my belly with my girl and color.
I can run and sweat like a man at bootcamp. (and beat the guy who always beats me.  Insert eye roll because you now realize how competitive I am.)
I can help Tim by being completely tuned into his stress levels and what he needs as he runs the last two weeks of this part of his race.
I get more uninterrupted time with Gracie.   She is so much fun and I am LOVING making these memories of just the three of us.
We can play tennis on the roof on the condo and get completely soaked when a monsoon decided to dump on us!

All of these things I would have missed if my plan A was unfolding before me.

I'd be lying if I told you trying to figure out all the pieces of God's plan A for my life has been...fun...easy...enjoyable...predictable.  I don't know what it all looks like.

Obedience hasn't always been fun, easy or necessarily enjoyable.  If you don't believe me on that one, watch a two year old that is learning to obey.

On my journey to teaching Gracie to obey, it has been a constant reminder that obedience is required of me too.  She kicks, screams and asks if I give up yet.  I don't.  Because I know that obeying when she is 2 is the same as obeying when she is 22.   I can't help but wonder if He smiles when I kick, scream and ask if He gives up yet.  He doesn't.  Refining is all part of the Potter's plan.

I am training her to obey me- the same way she will obey her Heavenly Father.  To pay attention to the whispers.  The prompting. His will.  His play A.


There is no way for me to know where God is leading, and how His plan is going to turn out.  If the whisper I heard is right, I know which way we are heading, and its terrifying.  I've never done it before.  I don't know what that looks like.  It takes me out of my comfort zone.

I should get used to this pattern.

I get comfortable.  I plan.

He plans, I get uncomfortable.

Phil 1:21, For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. 

Here is to my plan A dying, and really living His plan A.