Letters of Love.

I am a sentimental freak. I admit it. I am. I save everything, and want every occasion big or small, to be big! I am all about traditions and memories, so you can imagine that with a baby, I am in my element! I LOVE it.

But.

I am also controlled by my fears. I am a work in progress. It is a weakness but also in a twisted way, a strength.

I was watching Oprah and saw an episode of the mother who was diagnosed with cancer and recorded more than 200 hours of conversations for her daughter. Walking her through most of her child hood into adult hood because she knew she would not be around to do it physically. I was moved to tears. A lot of tears.

I don't have cancer, nor do I have any illness or health conditions that imply that my days are almost over, but I do know this. Life is but a vapor. A blink. A moment. In just one moment, everything could change. I could be gone.

So I started thinking, what if that was me. What if God called me home tomorrow--Gracie is 14 months old.

Would she remember me? Would she know how absolutely crazy I am about her? Would she sense the Legacy that I so desperately want to leave her?

There was only one way for me to be sure of it. To write her letters for the big things in life that every mom wants to walk a daughter through-- Asking Jesus in her heart, Having a baby, getting married, being engaged, dating, College, Prom, High School, Graduation, Driving, Starting her period, Losing her first tooth, Her first serious injury, etc.

So I started writing. And writing. And writing.

As I sat in front of a blank piece of paper, I thought to myself, "What would I want to read from my mom if she wasn't here when I was... getting married, having a baby, broke my arm, was leaving for college, had a fight with my dad?"

"What do I want Gracie to know more than anything in this whole world"?

The answer? She is the Daughter of the King, She is loved unconditionally, She is special, She is celebrated, She is a treasure, Her emotions are normal, and I am Proud!

This exercise has changed me...I find myself in the midst of frustration, pausing, taking a deep breath and saying (a lot of times out loud) "Don't miss this Lis, tomorrow it could be gone"!

Motherhood is a hallowed place because children aren’t commonplace. Co-laboring over the sculpting of souls is a sacred vocation, a humbling privilege. Never forget. - Ann Voskamp

If tomorrow, Jesus calls me home, I want my girl to know and be told by everyone around her that her Momma loved her with everything she had, and took her job as her mom very, very serious.

Help me, Jesus, in remembering that I have the privilege of sculpting this little girls soul.

Here are some pictures of her love letters: