This morning I woke up at 4am when Gracie came in asking for juice and I couldn't fall back to sleep. The words of my mom played over and over in my mind as I was laying there. "If you are up, get up, and meet with Jesus". So I did.
Last week we celebrated Tim's White Coat Ceremony. It was a great celebration. Every medical school is different and some times they give the students their white coat when they start school, and some get it half way through. It is kind of like a graduation from the classroom and the beginning of being in the hospital.
They said at orientation if you get your white coat, you will graduate. Can I get a hallelujah?!
They also said that the first two years are the hardest. Since we have not done the last two years, I can't say I agree...but I love the word "easier".
So far its been pretty hard. Mostly because really big decisions have to be made.
In the midst of one of my can't-stop-the-tears sessions yesterday, He spoke.
Either you trust me Lis, or you don't. Just follow me. Walk where I lead. Go where I say.
Go? He told Jonah to go and when he disobeyed he was swallowed by a FREAKING WHALE! Not going isn't an OPTION! I do not want to end up in the belly of a whale!
Go happily? Oh that's a different subject entirely.
If being in medical school has taught me anything it's that at 28 years old, obedience and a good attitude are not always easy. But necessary...and sometimes I get sent to my room until I can come out and have another chance.
I know what I want. I know what I think that looks like. I know the desire of my heart, and so does He. (I think I make it loud and clear!)
But I can't help but think...what if He does give me the desire of my heart, but it doesn't look like I think it looks like.
I want to be packing a U Haul and heading back to Orlando for residency. There are 85-100 applicants for that residency, and they take...wait for it...2.
2!!!!
Thats like...well, I can't do math, but NOT a very good statistic for ME.
Good thing God doesn't go by statistics. Because even if there were 2 applicants, and 100 spots, if it isn't His will, it isn't happening...something else I have learned in medical school. And I am not the one paying tuition.
Ask and He will give you the desire of your heart? I am asking.
"If you find life difficult because you are doing what God says, trust Him. He knows what He is doing and will keep on doing it." I Peter 4:19
Keep on doing it, Lord. I don't want to miss this. I want to be no where else but your will...even Orlando. (If you don't put me in Orlando, can you PLEASE bring my sister to me????)
Pray for us as we seek His hand and His will. It truly is the desire of our heart to be no where else but exactly where He wants us to be. I want to go happily. But sometimes my feet don't get the memo.
Speak Lord, your servant is listening.
Praying for you this morning, dear one. Jesus, move her closer! You have been so faithful in Miami. Central Florida misses you guys!
ReplyDeleteOh I was just there! My husband applied for a job that was either where we lived or on the complete other side of the U.S. I did have peace knowing it was in God's hands & that He WOULD allow what was best for us according to His plans. But! ALL my family is here & our oldest son goes to college here so we would've been leaving him too :( Thankfully, Jeff got the local job, but it WAS hard trusting when the possibility of moving was just as great as it was staying!
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