Sitting up :)

Thoughts.

Today is the day. There is no turning back now. Tim is out the door and probably walking to his first class.

The house is quiet. My bible, journal and coffee cup from my sisters accompany me. Gracie is asleep on my bed. She has had a rough couple of days. She has been to sleep in to many places. Omie's, Sassy's, the beach and her bed. She got up every hour, confused as to where she was now I think.

Today it was a spiritual lesson for me...I was tired, and sick and tired of getting up every 40 minutes to pat her bottom back to sleep so I brought her in my bed. Not a peep. Not a whine. Safety, comfort, and uninterrupted sleep. When she wakes up, she will be all smiles, giggles and coos.

I needed that picture this morning. I needed to go back to my Daddy's big bed, and read of his promises to me. To Remind myself that Satan has been defeated, and my Jesus ALWAYS wins!

I am becoming more diligent in writing the bible. (Do you know how long it takes to write ONE chapter?!?!)

Anyway! This morning I read, "The Lord, before whom I have walked, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success.."

It was as if those words jumped off the page--right to me--right to my soul--those words were for me this morning, from my Papa.

I will hang on every word of that verse today. He will make this journey a success. I will stay tuned in so I don't miss it. Any of it.

The Land Between

My Heart Momma shared about a message she heard yesterday at the Willow Creek Summit. She knew it was exactly where I am. Jeff Manion is coming out with his new book, "The Land Between", and I can't wait to get my hands on it. My mom sent me the first chapter of it, and I just wept through it. I am in The Land Between. In the Land Between, "For now" is the language, prayer doesn't seem to working and complaining flows faster than gratitude.

Today sucked. There I said it. Today was the last of a lot of things. Last day in this house, last bath for Gracie in the kitchen sink, last time taking her for a walk, last time kissing her and putting her to bed in her room. And I cried. No sobbed. No wept. For a long, long time.

I'm grieving the loss of a dream. For years I have prayed that my brother and his wife would move to Orlando so we could all be together again. Two months ago, he answered that prayer when they moved to Winter Park, with sweet Aviana Marie. Tomorrow, the truck is being packed and its getting on 95 and heading to Miami. Away from my dream of all of us being together. Tonight, the realization that we are going to be gone for at least 4 years and we may never be in the same town again hit me harder than I would have liked. I don't understand why He would answer my prayer only to take it away.


The Land Between is where life is not what it was...everything is in question...everything has been interrupted...and you have to find your footing and the new normal.

All I know of me, towards all I know of Jesus.