Finish line but another starting line.

Have you ever heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit?  Have you ever without a doubt known or pretended to not know that it was really Him and he was speaking to you?

On January 28, 2014 a baby was born that changed me.  "You didn't have a baby on January 28th, Lis, how did a baby that was not your change you?"  I'm so glad you asked.  Ha.

Olivia June Danae Woodall was born to my cousin Dave and his precious wife, Danae.  What we know now is not what we knew on that day in January.  Olivia was sent to this earth on a mission and her mission took 13 days.  I have been on this earth for approximately 10,951 days and I wish I could tell you my mission was as clear as hers.  Most days I look like I don't own a shower, am attempting the gothic look with the dark circles under my eyes and have stains on the front of my clothes from whatever my children were eating that day.  Probably something super healthy like Doritos.  While I do believe motherhood is a beautiful thing, it's not always attractive.  Or maybe I am the only one.

Scripture talks about seasons in Ecclesiastes 3.  There are four seasons in a year.. unless you live in Florida and then there is only one and a half.  Summer.  And half of everything else.  The season I am in is about to change.  Again.

I like love Summer.  I like love warm.  I like love being comfortable. I like love my flip flops.  I like love Orlando, Florida.  I do not like love the idea of having to move away from all those things and walk into a new territory.  I don't want to move to Kentucky.  Not even a little bit.  But what I do want more than the very breath I take is to fulfill my purpose and mission on this earth.  And that involves moving to Kentucky.  I want to be like Olivia.  I want to hear what she heard after 13 days.  "Well done!"

Thinking about Olivia and her life, I am so thankful she didn't know pain like we know it.  I am so thankful she doesn't know the heart ache that her mom and dad will live with everyday for the rest of their life.  I am thankful she doesn't know what hurt feelings are, what a scraped knee feels like or how terrible it is to be little and have to go to bed when the sun is still out.  Instead she only knows Jesus.  Only knows perfection.  Only knows love like we can not even begin to fathom.

Olivia changed me because that was her mission.

The last 4 years have been all about change.  Big changes.  Gut wrenching changes.  Hard changes.  Wonderful changes.  Super exciting changes.  Scary changes.

Olivia put things in perspective for me like most things can't.  Pain will do that.  I think its safe to say that I have never prayed for someone more in 13 days than I did for Dave, Danae, Oscar, Wells and Olivia.  Never did I beg for a miracle like I did.  And in the end, God did it.  He healed her.  But not in the way I was asking.

So what do you do Lis, when after praying for something (residency in Orlando) long and hard (4 years), your answer is not what you want to hear?  I quiet myself to hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit and I just listen.  And I wait.  

Dave and Danae would tell you that for whatever reason, God has a purpose and a plan for all of this, and it may not make since until we get to heaven.

I will tell you that I don't understand the purpose and plan of moving to Kentucky, but I think that at the end of the 3 years of residency, we will.  I think we will be able to look back and say confidently, THIS is why we moved here, and if we didn't come, we would have missed this.  That is what I am hoping to say at the finish line.  Today though, I am at the starting line and can say that I am sure going to miss all this.  A lot.

Not my will, but yours be done, Father.  And squeeze that sweet baby for me.  We miss her here.

The Match

Today was the residency match.  It made final what we already knew.  We are once again packing everything in a U-Haul and moving.  This time in the opposite direction of Miami.  We're headed North.  Way North.  To Louisville, Kentucky.

It was Tim's top pick of a Residency Program, and the best one that offers the training he desires.  It really is everything we prayed for…except it's in Kentucky.

There is no doubt in my mind that this isn't the place the Lord hand picked for my family to be, but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't very, very sad to leave Orlando.  Not because of just family and friends, but because of Gracie's school, not being able to enroll her at Circle for Pre-K, my bible study group, the WARM weather and everything we enjoy here.  And yet, I am so thankful we have a great program to go to.  Many people didn't get the programs they were hoping for, or one at all.  

There is still a lot to process and I am still in denial about us really leaving.  But today, it was more final.

I'm excited to see what kind of Doctor Tim starts out as and then what 3 years of great training will do for him.

Let's pray this super cold winter was only this year.  I need flip flops in my life.